I call my concept of getting close to people quickly the “Bullseye Theory of Communication.” Picture a bullseye type of target.
We are all trained from childhood to be polite, to not be nosy, not pry, not push people too far out of their comfort zone. In my bullseye analogy, we are tiptoeing around the outer edges of communication. I have noticed in over 30 years of acquiring new business, that most people really enjoy very close, even intimate communication – peeling the onion, and penetrating to a deeper level. We’re so used to the more distant, guarded communication, that when someone makes it comfortable and safe to feel closer, we welcome that.
We’ve all heard the expression, used to describe a new but especially enjoyable acquaintance, “I feel like I’ve known him for 5 years!” This results from finding that special way to connect with someone, looking for the opening that facilitates a conversation that gets closer than you would have expected, more quickly than you would have expected.
We have two ears and one mouth, and using them proportionally helps to achieve bull’s-eye communication. Listen carefully, and think before responding, and you will find common ground that can enable you to connect deeply with people you’ve just met. I have found this makes for a meaningful relationship, and brings rewards I couldn’t have obtained with usual polite business conversation.